What is overindulgence?
What are the reasons why parents overindulge their children? How do we know if we are overly spoiling our kids? And most importantly, how do we stop it?
Overindulgence is the act of having too much of anything that is enjoyable both for the adult and child. It is about giving your children too much of anything such as material things (food, money, expensive gifts and toys, gadgets), attention, and activities. Over nurturing is also a sign of overindulgence. It is when our kids are old enough to do things on their own, like toddlers who can eat and dress on their own, or teens that are capable to do chores in the house; but we neglect to teach them life skills and end up doing everything for them. Overindulgence is also when parents give too much freedom and not impose any rules. Another thing is by tolerating the child’s wrong behavior and letting the child get away with everything they do because parents don’t want to hurt their feelings when correcting them.
Why do parents overindulge their kids?
Every parent has their own style of parenting and way of spoiling their kids. Here are some of the reasons why and how parents overindulge their children:
- It is a way of showing love and it makes the children happy.
- We think that by spoiling them, we are helping them make their live easier.
- When parents are deprived during their childhood and want to make sure that it will not happen to their own children.
- It is the reflection of the parents’ image that they want to show to others. If mom or dad wants to impress other people with the way their child dress or behave.
- To meet the parents needs and expectations like their child being the stand out or always being on the top with everything.
- Because parents feel guilty. Not spending time with kids because of work, or having a divorce with the spouse fuels the guilt of every parent and overindulging is the parents’ way to make up.
What harm can overindulge do to your child?
Parenting is one of the hardest tasks a person can do. Even the most concerned and loving parents can harm their kids unintentionally.
Insensitive, bossy, rude to others, constantly throws tantrum whenever things don’t go their way, and being manipulative are some of the signs that a child is raised by overindulgent parents.
Children who are given too much freedom but not teaching them what the consequences of their actions are, often grown up insecure and frightened. If you raised them without assigning them any responsibilities and chores, chances are, they will be afraid to do things and make decisions on their own.
How to stop overindulging your children?
When you realize that you have to stop overindulging your kids at every cost, how do you do it? Here are some ways that you can try and experiment with your little one, depending what works on them.
Make a plan and stick to it. Consistency is always a key. Address what is wrong with your parenting and plan a solution. If you take away something and then give them again the next day, this will only confuse your child. Set a proper routine in your home. If you let them use gadgets, watch television or play video games, make sure they only use for a certain period of hours. You also need to make sure that you allow ample time for family bonding, doing chores, and studying. This will keep the balance in the household as the kids have enough time to play and still need to think about their chores and responsibilities.
Be firm. No matter what tantrums and pleading your children throw to get their unreasonable demands, you have to be assertive not to give in. They need to see your confidence in saying no and explain to them the reason why. This may be painful for parents to see their kids cry but this will help and benefit them in the future.
Teach your kid to be independent. We are so used to do everything for our kids since the day they were born that we forget that they are an individual who needs to learn on their own. Give them responsibilities appropriate to their age and capacity to practice independency. Guide them to learn how to set a goal and solve a problem. You also need to teach them how to be street smart in a simple way to detect unsafe situations and behaviour.
Budget your money. You should avoid spending too much money on something your child is asking for. Allocating your weekly or monthly allowance will help you to stop buying what is not needed. Instead, make your little one understand the value and how to save money at such a young age.
Family bonding is important. Giving love and affection to your children will never be replaced by showering them expensive gift and toys. Make sure to have enough time for your children and make activities that will make your bond stronger.
Recognizing good behavior:
Reprimanding a child when they display wrong behavior is as important as appreciating them when they show good behavior. When dealing with their bad behavior, you must first understand the meaning behind it. Once you know the root of his misbehavior, you can easily remove the cause. You should give more value to your child’s good behaviour than the bad.